There are no self-help books for this one

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I am wondering if the algorithm for this stupid Facebook quiz was that good at looking at my profile, or if this was just a coincidence.

It’s funny (strange not haha) that this quiz and result came up the day after a friend, who is a well-respected senior director in another department and has also known my new boss for years, gave me some pointers for working with him. One of them was with regard to my tone and sarcasm. (She’s been on the receiving end of my tone, which I never realized until she told me.) Remain aware.

I try to continually monitor myself, with regard to how I may sound to others. I have been told on numerous occasions that I can have a condescending tone. I also have a propensity to respond with sarcasm. I do not always realize when my tone is perceived as condescending, but usually, I do know when I am giving a sarcastic response. Most people who know me know that what is perceived as my condescending (“you dumbass”) tone doesn’t really mean that I think they are stupid, it just sounds that way.* It’s the ones who don’t know me that I worry about. Hence the need to self-correct. Besides, I don’t want people to think I’m an bitch, unless I give them a legitimate reason to do so.

The sarcasm, well, that is generally because I think someone has said something I find ridiculous. If someone says or does something that I think is ill-informed, for lack of a better word, and it is something that I genuinely care a lot about, I can sound irritated or even angry. (Otherwise, I don’t show much emotion about stuff.)  I really have a problem with what I perceive as stupidity, willfull ignorance, etc. I need to exert the same control in this area that I do in others. Maybe I should try counting or something. It is normally a knee-jerk reaction to something.

I work on this daily. However, my success rate is less than stellar. I will continue my little self-improvement project. Luckily, it hasn’t gotten me into any trouble. Yet.

I’m probably pressing my luck.

 

* I have been told my non-verbals convey the same. I swear I don’t know when I’m doing it, because I do it to people I obviously do not think are stupid. I ask for feedback all the time, so people can let me know when it happens. Of course by then, it’s too late. 😦

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