Curiosity killed the cat

So riddle me this, if a woman wants to know what it’s like to date a woman, what does she really mean? Because to me, from my experience, going on a successful date with a woman isn’t a whole lot different than going out with your best friend. Great conversation? Check. Just an overall great time? Check. What separates the two, besides who picks up the check?

Fucking.

There was coworker/friend with whom I used to spend a lot of time, work dinners at her place, gym partners (her request), etc. A while back, after a couple glasses of wine one night, in response to something that I had said about her being safe for my current relationship, because I assumed she was straight, she made a statement about not knowing if she was gay because “she had never dated a woman*.”  In hindsight, based upon that and the fact that she always made incredibly intense eye contact with me when we spoke, ignored all personal space when talking, regardless of where we were, lingering touches and prolonged hugs, etc. I’m now kind of curious about that statement and if she was trying to send some kind of message back then. Even now, I’m not one to ask. But there is some curiosity. Plus, she’s cute. I may have been in denial back then, regarding whether she was sending signals.

We still talk at work frequently so if she was and still might be interested, I know that a relationship isn’t in the cards for her with anyone right now, which is good. She’s career driven and currently working on her doctorate. However, even if she was hinting at something, I’m not sure that fucking a coworker is the best idea, particularly this one. She’s very sweet and kind of religious. At work, she’s someone who is not one to easily say no, never raises her voice in anger, and is easily walked on. We have had numerous talks about these things, and I hate to say that I have made her cry in the past. I’m not looking for anything, and I doubt she would be either, still I’m afraid that somehow I would just end up hurting her, if that road was traveled. Fifteen years ago, I may have had a different outlook. I like to think that I have matured since then, and that MY curiosity wouldn’t get the better of me.

You know what they say about curiosity.

 

 

*Then again, if she was just curious, she may have taken care of that since then.

 

 

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